When I moved to Australia, I knew one thing for sure: if I wanted to actually feel settled here, I needed friends. Real friendships make any place feel like home, and even though I came with my boyfriend (my built-in comfort person), I still wanted my own circle. I wanted girls to grab coffee with, people to go out with, and friends who understood what it’s like to start over in a new country.
But making friends as an adult? In a new country?
Yeah… that part isn’t exactly easy.
Trying to Make Friends the “Modern” Way
When I first arrived, I downloaded Bumble BFF because that seemed to be what everyone recommended. And honestly? It just wasn’t for me. The whole thing felt forced, and I never really clicked with anyone on there. I tried, but every conversation felt like a job interview for friendship.
Work didn’t help much either. Most people at my job are older or at a completely different stage of life, so I knew I couldn’t rely on that for building a social life.
But I got lucky in one way: I had a friend from Florida who had moved to Australia before me. She already had a group, and she slowly introduced me to her friends… who then had friends of their own. And suddenly, it became this natural chain reaction where each person added someone new to the mix. It felt easy in a way that Bumble BFF never did.
I’ve also been making more of an effort with some of my coworkers—even when I’m exhausted, even when I’d rather go straight home. Showing up matters more than you think.
The Magic of Saying “Yes” (Even When You Really Don’t Want To)
If there’s one thing I’ve learned so far about making friends here, it’s this:
Say yes.
Even when you’re tired.
Even when you’re anxious.
Even when you don’t know anyone.
Even when your bed looks really inviting.
Just this weekend, my boyfriend and I dragged ourselves out of bed at 5:30 AM to run a 5K with a group we barely knew. It would’ve been so easy to hit snooze and pretend we “forgot.” But we didn’t.
And I’m so glad, because that one event turned into:
- A post-run beach trip
- Afternoon drinks with people we’d just met
- A spontaneous fireworks night
- And even an invite to someone’s Christmas plans
All because we said yes. Imagine if we hadn’t.
The thing is, everyone here is kind of in the same situation—either they’re travelers, expats, or people open to meeting new friends. Once you push past that initial awkwardness, people are actually incredibly welcoming.
Learning to Be Comfortable With the Awkward Moments
What I’m realizing is that everyone here — locals, travelers, expats — is looking for connection in their own way. You’re not the only one feeling new or unsure or awkward. When you remind yourself of that, saying yes becomes a lot less intimidating.
Some days I feel confident and social; other days, I feel like I’m starting over again. But little by little, my circle is growing. I’m meeting more people, finding my place, and building a life that feels full.
And that’s the part that makes all the uncomfortable moments worth it.